12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
