I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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