2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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