My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
