1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What a dumb baby whore.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
