I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The power of my boobs compel you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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