you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
