how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
porn star boner night. come get it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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