I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
