im drinking this country out of the recession.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
