Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
