All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
