Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

just survived the first fart of the relationship.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!

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(917): View more from New York City

You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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(330): View more from Ohio

we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.

(703): View more from Virginia

But doesn't your shift end at like noon?

(540): View more from Virginia

I don't think you understand.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...

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