needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
