haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just cropdusted the office
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
