So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
