Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
