Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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