the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
