Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
