I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize