you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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