Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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