Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
