I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
