New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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