Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
