Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
