a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
