I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize