We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
