in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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