my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
