I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
