I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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