just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize