He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
