im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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