you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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