found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize