hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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