They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
