Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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