At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
