break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Those nachos came to me in a dream
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
