If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
