She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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