Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize