So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just cropdusted the office
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
