Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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