Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
