he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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