he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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