i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
