Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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